Forgot to mention to Mike L.Those are 2 of my favorite quotes from So I Married An Axe Murderer. I love that movie. "HEED! PAPER! NOW!"

Long live the King...of Rock and Roll. Elvis Week is here and I'm loving it. Did you know he made 32 million in sales of memorabilia this year? That Graceland alone brings in 15 million in revenue? I bet Nick Cage and Lisa Marie had a pre-nup. She's worth a bundle. According to the British tabloids, Lisa and Nick held a seance to contact Elvis and ask his blessing of their marriage. The King said it was A-OK with him. Retarded tabloid crap.


No matter what anyone says, or how he died, he's still cool to me.



The 10th Annual Camping trip went well. Great sleeping weather and no rain, lots of sun. Tshirts went over big time with the famdamily. We had a picture taken with everyone wearing their shirts. Unfortunately, I don't have digitial pictures of this because I accidentally erased them. DAMN! I was on the winning team for a change during the Winnebago Bowl. We've progressed so much in the 4 years we've been doing this. We now have cones to mark off the end zone, as well as an electronic scorer. I only had 2 major incidents of pain. Trying to get out of my husbands way (he was on the other team) and I bounced right off of him. It really hurt. Then, trying to tackle my cousin in the end zone so that he would drop the ball, Uncle Charlie throws his hand in to tip the ball away, and they both fall on me. We're talking over 300 lbs with both of them. Not so fun. But, a good laugh and some great plays.



Co-worker had her baby on Monday at last. Lost the office pool on that one. Cool name for a girl: Emery.



This weekend is our party for my father-in-laws retirement. Relies started descending last night. Should be a good time, hopefully we get all the food in place. It sounds like my parents might actually be coming up with the dog! He's going to love the lake.

I figured I better post after reading my brother's jab at me...what can I say about my inconsistency? I have no life to post about somedays!



The latest in the saga of kids doing stuff wrong at work: came in yesterday morning and the screen of someone's laptop was cracked. It would appear that while it was closed, someone either sat on it or a football bounced off of it. Haven't quite figured out how to handle this situation! It's never dull around here. :)



A guy I work with spent last weekend up at Breezy Point Resort near Brainerd, Minnesota. The cool part is that on Saturday night he hung out with Tony Oliva, the old Minnesota Twin! Apparently Tim had started talking with a guy one Friday night and they were chatting about the Twins. The guy said they should come back to the lounge the next evening and meet Tony and hang out. They drank and shot the shit with him for hours. Super cool guy. I remember when I interviewed him for an online chat that he was really nice. I had my laptop and my brother hand changed my screensaver without telling me and it flashed, "Kristin's brother is the coolest." Tony laughed and said, "So, you're brother is the coolest, huh?" There is a guy who really belongs in the Hall of Fame.



Which reminds me of an article that everyone should read about Cooperstown. I"m slowly becoming disenchanted with baseball and I've sworn that if they strike this year, I will walk away from the sport forever and pledge my allegiance to NASCAR and hockey. However, this article re-affirmed some of my faith. It's really more about my love of the Hall. A very magical place.



This one on the Twins is worth a read too...



Getting ready for our annual camping trip this weekend. We love to camp, yet we only go once a year. This is our 10th Annual Garness Family Camp-Out, complete with tshirts and the 4th Annual Winnebago Bowl. Thanks to my husband, he organized a football game one year and it's been tradition every since. Since we camp at Camp Winnebago, you get the idea. Last night we went out and bought a Pudgie Pie Maker to make hot ham and cheeses, cherry pies, stuff like that. Pulled out the tent, cooler, grill, all that crap that goes with camping. Plus, we have to get Whittney and Tyler in the back seat of Mike's car in addition to bringing this stuff. Still don't know if that's going to work! I will hopefully be able to post pictures on Monday.



Answers to the Thursday questions:



I didn't find any alternates of me. I found many things with my name, but none worthy of viewing. The cool part when I typed my name into Yahoo search, my blog came up!


I would not cut off two of my fingers for a million dollars.



I would like to kick Bill Gates' ass. In my mind I see Anthony Michael Hall playing him in Pirates of the Silcon Valley and I just want beat the crap out of him. I know that he has done much good and much bad, but I just don't like the guy. He looks like a turtle.



Pat, it's funny that you put Larry Ellison down. There is a huge interview with him this month in PlayBoy. (Yes, my husband gets this magazine.) The guy is a major dick. I can't stress this enough.



I watched Coal Miners Daughter the other night for the hell of it. Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee Jones are awesome in the movie. Mike can't stand the movie because he hates hearing her say, "DOO!" Also watched Jerry Maguire for fun too. We were laughing at the part of the little kid who's on the phone while Cuba Gooding is ranting about his contract. He says, "You talk to much." Then, "It was nice talking to you, bye Rod!" Jonathan Lipnicki was the cutest kid to play that role.



I found this cool Stump Your Friends website that allows you to create quizes about any topic to send to friends. A local radio station had posted it on their website. Since I sent it around at work, everyone is in quiz overload stumping one another. My brother got 9/10 as did my husband. They both missed this question: What is the first car I ever had? Because I felt this quiz was too easy, I created another. Stump yourself here, or create your own quiz. Not sure I should send it to Dad. He might not like the question: "Who does Kristin call her 'real' dad?" :) There's a story there.



My mom has always been an Elvis fan. Not a freaky-obsessed-he's-still-alive kind of fan, but a casual fan. I, in turn, have become a fan since I was about 12. One year my cousin Molly and I decided to tell her little sister Allison that Elvis was really my dad. The reason is that my parents are divorced and Allison had been born after this and had a hard time comprehending who my dad really was. We took advantage of this when she was about age 7. We had her totally convinced that my mom had an affair with Elvis and I was his kid. Finally, Allison marched up to my mom and said, "Is Elvis Kristin's Dad?" You had to be there to see the look on my mom's face. Priceless. She ruined it by telling her that Uncle Steve was really my dad, not Elvis. Anyway, that's the origin of the question.

Interesting questions posed for the Thursday three: My favorite lawn ornament seen is a large pig with piglets following...they looked scary real. had to stop and look twice. maybe I'm retarded. Favorite Southern name: Billy-Jack and Doolittle are my personal favorites. (However, I have to say that some of the nicknames in our family may qualify. My mom and her sisters: Charmaine=Slim; Sandra=Rita; Susan=Jity; Pam=Penny; Dave=Davey John. Some how Aunt Linda escaped the wrath.) Best looking CEO/Chairman: Steve Case of AOL/Time Warner



I'm visiting my parents this weekend and on Thursday night we went to the Olmsted County Fair in Rochester. The people watching was at its prime. My mother about passed out at the girl (about age 19) wearing a long hippie looking skirt with a tank top that did NOT cover her large pregnant belly. Last year at the Minnesota State Fair I saw a woman wearing this: a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, BIKER SHORTS, and a tank top. It was baaaaad.



I gotta point out this great billboard that KDWB, our local Top 40 station in the Twin Cities recently did. It said Ugly Kids...and had pictures of two really ugly kids. sort of. Then a week later they had the billboard that said "Ugly kids become DJ's." Check out the link.

Goldmember is worthy of watching if you are a fan of Austin Powers. Same old sight gags, jokes, etc. Mini-me and Fat Bastard steal the show. Michael Caine ROCKS as Nigel Powers, Austin's dad. (I'm a big Michael Caine fan though). Goldmember (the character) is way dumb, that was the only character I didn't like. The opening sequence is Great. Brings you right into the movie. Most critics are saying that it's lost it's mojo. I liked it for what it was: a Mike Myers production. (Ozzy makes an appearance with the family and the outtakes of him trying to do that scene are HILARIOUS!)



Also rented Men In Black (hadn't seen the first one yet) and I Am Sam with Sean Penn. I have to say the first MIB is better then the second, more entertaining. I Am Sam is also very good, but slow moving and too long. Music is mostly all Beatles toons and it rocks. Sean Penn is amazing. He's a cross between a Forrest Gump, Arnie from What's Eating Gilbert Grape, and Daniel from The Other Sister. (If you have not seen the last two movies, I highly recommend them.) I have new respect for Sean Penn as an actor.



Went to the Minnesota Zoo on Saturday afternoon. Hadn't been there in almost 10 years. Pretty decent place, although it was mobbed with kids and families. Mike had never been to this zoo, so he was excited. Watched an excellent dolphin show where we sat in the front row by the tank and were splashed a bit. One of the female dolphins is very pregnant so it was neat to see her big belly. Those animals are so amazing. Mike swam with dolphins in the Bahamas and ever since then I have so much respect for them. Truly fantastic creatures. I came eye to eye with a really cool beaver, who stood about a foot away from me and stood looking right up at me chewing his little stick. He was about the size of smaller dog which I wasn't expecting. They also have a cool petting pond of sting rays and star fish that you are welcomed to touch. Little kids really were excited about that. Rode the monorail to see the larger outdoor animals like the bison, camels, and moose. New Tiger Lair exhibit with 2 beautiful tigers. Overall, a good day. We were wicked tired at the end of the day!



Sunday we spent the day watching NASCAR during the longest rain delay and caution. I nearly crapped myself watching Steve Park's accident. I felt bad for Junior-I can only imagine how scary it must be for him now after losing his dad in an accident. Park has just had the crappiest luck this year. I'm soooo glad that he and Jr. were okay. They are two of my favorite drivers. Besides their driving ability, their both really hot!



Taking Friday off this week to head down to the Grove town (as my co-worker and former resident of Spring Grove calls it) to visit Grandma. Time is getting shorter and priorities are being pushed into place. This is at the top of the list right now.



Since everyone is on the topic of what they are reading...Just finished The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough. Starting Primary Colors. Cannot get into it Not sure why. I have read so many books in my lifetime, I don't know that I would know where to start in terms of listing what is good. Off the top of my head, 2 books that I think should be required reading in college: Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom and 10 Things I Wish I'd Know Before I Went Out Into The Real World by Maria Shriver. I love bios too, and one of my favorites because the story is so good (nothing to do with the music side) is Love Can Build A Bridge by Naomi Judd. As the review said, "This isn't the dust off the bible story you were expecting..." I have a soft spot for single working moms, so this story really hit home for me. Childrens Books: A Fish Out of Water by Dr. Seuss; Charlotte's Web; Little House Series; I'll Love You Forever; The Giving Tree; plus there is this one book Paige made me read a few years back, can't remember the name, but it was about the kid who didn't want to give up his blankey. I have issues with giving up my blankey still.



In a moment of digression.... my great-aunt Marguerite once told me a story at age 10 (to discourage my blankey use) about a little boy she had taught many years ago. He had this blanket that he took everywhere. Once on vacation he had his head out the window as they were crossing a bridge and was holding the blanket out and flying it like a kite through the air. There was a big gust of wind and it snapped the blanket out of his hands and into the river below. Way below. It's so funny to me, but I know that if it were MY blanket it would not be. So it's more like a devilish laugh...hehehehe IF your child has a favorite blanket, just let them. They'll figure out when to get rid of it.



Pat-your story about the drive-in movie has kicked me into gear. We have one near us and are going to try to go this week. It's something we've talked about since 1996!

Goldmember opens today...and I plan on being there at 7pm tonight. "I love GOOOOLLLDDDD!"



I've undertaken a large project from my mother. I'm putting all of her black and white photos into a photo album/scrapbook. These photos consist of her mother and father's families, her grandparents, siblings, great-grandparents, uncles, aunts cousins. I've seen most of the photos over my lifetime, but I'm amazed at how many I don't really know. My Grandpa Garness came from a large family-11 kids. I only remember 3 of those aunts and uncles really well. The others passed away before I was born or died when I was young. My grandpa died when I was 8 and I realized how very little I knew him. Looking at these pictures of him with his family has really made me think a lot about how they were all young once too. They're goofing around, with their arms around each other. Photo booth pictures of my grandpa with some random friend-we'll never who the guy is. Standing with my grandma after they got married, both of them thin and young and looking like they really do love each other. I think of some of the stories Grandma has told about when they were dating. Grandpa was considered a 'rogue' and pretty wild. They shaped who I am today, just as their parents did, and those parents before, etc. It truly makes me appreciate where I came from and the sacrifices made. It's a lengthy process to sort all of these photos, but lots of fun too.



Did anyone catch the replay this week of the mini-series The Shining? I caught most of it the first time around, but it was interesting to watch again. Having read the book, this mini-series re-creates the movie very closely. The original Stanley Kubrick version made famous by Nicholson is awesome, and it's a classic, but they made him into a freak and did not follow a lot from the book. In the book, it's a slow madness that he descends into. Much more effectively done by Steven Weber. It's freaky to see him in this role after watching him on Wings all those years ago. He once played David Koresh of the Branch Dividians in a TV movie. Scared the bejezus out of me. But I digress...



The kid who played Danny this time around is only fair. His mouth, or teeth (I can't figure it out) don't let him close his mouth all the way. It was really annoying. Plus he was really nasily. In the movie version, I that Danny was a fair take on the book. A very intelligent kid for his age who has things figured out in life and at the hotel waaaay more then his mom and dad do. Did anyone like Shelley Duvall as Wendy? I liked Rebecca Demornay better. Classic line from the movie: "I"m not gonna hurt you Wendy....I'm just going to bash. your. brains.in." I'm really stuck in the middle on which is better (besides the book). Nicholson still rocks though. And obviously, this all just my opinion, as many beg to differ on the Internet Movie Database.



Something to ponder from an article I ready by Michael Moore. (I'm sure you're familiar with him). He was wondering why matches and lighters were not on the prohibitied list of items to take on an airplane. I stopped to think about this and asked myself the same question. Why? Well, it turns out that the FFA had them on the list after 9/11. However, the tobacco companies lobbyed to have them taken OFF the list. Their reasoning? People can't smoke on a plane and the minute they get off, they want to rush to a smoking lounge where they can. They must have their lighter to do so. The lobbying with Bush and the FFA was successful, and the items were removed. But what happened in December? Richard Reed tries to light his shoe bomb on an airplane. They're still on the list.



Note to my brother: watch where you urinate.

In my defense, I thought Summer Catch was a decent movie because it had a number of fairly obscure actors in it that I like. Didn't say the story was the greatest, but over the movie was good. I'm talking good as in I'm not bored to death by it and when there is nothing else on cable that I can watch, it will suffice. Because I'm a girl I obviously didn't think Jessica Biel was eye candy, but I don't really care for as an actress.



What I do for a living...I work with teenagers every day for a program in Minnesota called Target Market. This is a youth anti-tobacco industry deal. We're not anti-smoking, we're against the industry and the marketing that is done. Bring on the comments should you feel the need to argue. I do it everyday! Anyway, I manage an office of about 15, with kids who are active in the movement here all the time. We have a cheap office space (storefront) with old office furniture cast offs. As you can imagine, sometimes the damn teenagers get bored or mad at us and decide to have a little fun. Hence the glueing incident. It was actually kind of fun to have the shit hit the fan for a change with them. Usually they get away with murder, but a day back from vacation set me off and I hauled one of 'em into my office and let him have it. (the response as usual was I don't know why I felt like doing it.) Now, no one under 20 is allowed to have a key (we have interns that work evenings). Let's just say they're none to happy with Kristin these days. All the adults were thrilled with some rule finally. So, when I mention things like 'poopcicle' you can imagine why it's suddenly funny. I work with an age group that ranges from 14-32. And Office Space is an oft quoted and favorite movie. Anyway, go to our website if you want details.



Weekend was fair. The friends weekend bombed, and it was only 2 of us. Looonnnggg story. Had a good time with one friend, but find that things have changed quite a bit since college in terms of what to talk about over an entire weekend. I wanted some alone time by Sunday.



Have thought much about my brother's post about goals. I need to do a lot better in this area. Good boost, good writing Pat. Thanks for making me do some re-thinking of where my life is going....I don't mean that in a sarcastic way either. It's in a nice way!

I'll concede as well that I don't post regularly. I have been very lax in doing so lately. My apologies.



Read today that Sharon Osbournes cancer is worse then they thought. It's colon (She said, "why'd they have to find it in my bum?) cancer and she'll have to have chemotherapy for 3 months. Apparently she is not so worried, but Ozzy was so distraught that a doctor had to come and sedate him. Ozzy had been the one to push her to go for a check-up. They called him a hypochondriac. Wouldn't you be if you had the history of drug and alcohol use he does?



Mike left for Iowa last night to visit his rellies. My GORF girls are coming to visit and we're all getting together at Jill's tomorrow. GORF is in reference to my college friends. Back in our freshman year at the University of Wisconsin-River Falls, during homecoming, we walked by a dorm room that had GO RF in the window. Except that the space wasn't there and it looked like GORF. Hence, the name GORF Girls began with my friends: Jill, Erika, Krista, Michelle and Robin. It's only 4 of us, but plan on sitting around chatting and drinking a few beers. Jill had hernia surgery on Wednesday, so she won't be doing much, but insisted we still come! Should be fun.



Ordered two books from Amazon that came in the mail yesterday. Primary Colors (the one the movie is based on) and Laura by Donald Zochart. The latter is about Laura Ingallas Wilder. My interest in her has been piqued again (I was obsessed with her when I was little) after visiting her home of one year in Burr Oak, Iowa, the home of my grandparents. Paige and I took the tour and it was really interesting. As for Primary Colors, I had not seen the movie since last fall when I finally rented it. I had to read the book to get a better perspective of it. I'm really psyched. I also need to buy the book Stupid White Men by Michael Moore. A girl I work with had it today at the office and I peed my pants reading it. I had seen it before (maybe one of you talked about it?) and definately want to have this. My favorite quote in the book was actually one from SNL's Update during the election. "George Bush said he didn't reveal the drunk driving charge because of what his daughters might think of him. He had preferred that they think of him as a man with numerous failed business ventures who now executes people." Nice. Second favorite quote: "In short, you've been a drunk, a thief, a possible felon, an unconvicted deserter and a crybaby. You may call that statement cruel. I call it "tough love." Whether you voted for him or not, please admit this is kind of funny.



Had my second interview on Monday in Rochester. Don't want the job after experiencing the interview. It wasn't what I thought and wasn't what I want. When I say it's over my head, I feel like I'm saying I don't want to challenge myself. The problem is that since I don't have experience in one of the areas they want, and they don't want to take the time to teach me, it's hard to say I can learn it. I don't know. Hard one, and rather disappointing. When the people in the job itself are giving me the vibe that they really don't like their job that much, it's difficult to be excited about this one. I'm trying to let my intuition take over on this one. My therapist years and years ago once told me that I had the strongest intuition of anyone she knew and that I should always pay attention to it. We'll see what happens.



Remembered something else Paige had said to me last week. We stopped by our apartment when we came up to go the Mall of America. Paige walked into our den and came back out to report to me that, "That room is really messy. It's worse then Alissa's." I hadn't been home in a week and Mike had been on the computer doing family research and had printed out about 10 feet of paper. Yes, the room is a mess too because it's the 'extra' room where everything gets thrown. It had to have been bad if it was worse then Alissa's!



Have any of you seen Freddy Got Fingered with Tom Green? This was the most stupid and disgusting movie I have ever watched. And I literally saw 15 minutes of it. Why the movie was even made, I don't know. I like Tom Green, his show was hilarious, but I just thought the movie was over the top gross. Not funny.



However, I gotta say that I've watched Little Nicky and Joe Dirt more times then I came to admit in the last month. Little Nicky is actually funny. Ozzy makes an appearance at the end and of course Rob Schneider is in there saying, "YOU CAN DO IT!" Joe Dirt isn't quite as funny, but still memorable. We have this one Starz channel that picks a couple of movies and plays them over and over for a few weeks, kind of like a movie theater. As a result, I've also seen Summer Catch recently with Freddie Prinze Jr. Good movie too.



Adam Sandler has a new animated movie coming out in December called, "Eight Crazy Nights." Can you guess where the title came from? I saw the trailer and it looks freaking hilarious. He does all the voices in it. The scene in the trailer (remember it's animated) shows this old guy falling into a porta potty. Sandler hoses him off (it's winter) and the poop freezes all over him. Sandler says, "Smell ya later poopcicle." This has gone over quite well in the office as a catch phrase.



Last, and I promise this is the last movie reference, we had cake at an office meeting yesterday and began to talk about how in Office Space Milton misses out on yet another piece of cake because he was told 'don't be selfish.'

Been on vacation, but back to the real world yesterday. Scary.



Know what I came back to? The 16 year olds that I work with had glued everything they could get their hands on down to desks with spray Adhesive. Nice. I feel like the parent. Yanked their privileges, can't come back to the office until Monday, blah blah blah. Actually, I was really disappointed. All else had gone well when I was gone. Not to mention, we have to figure out where 4 bags of candy went in one night. Teenagers: AHH! Common sense is not a trait for many of them.



Good vacation with my bro and family. Girls have really grown up a lot. I'd say by the next time I see Alissa, she'll be taller then I am. The best line of the week came from Paige sitting in the backseat of the car on our way home from Grandma's. Out of the blue she says, "Can teachers retire...like when they're in their 30's or so?" Where that came from we're not sure, but she had told us earlier in the day that she wanted to be a Gym teacher. Cute:)



Saw Men in Black 2 over the weekend. It was actually really good and quite funny. Pat and Lyn saw Minority Report. You'll have to hear Pat's analysis of it. Sounds like an interesting movie.



4th of July was pretty fun. Fireworks are now legal in Minnesota (some are, not all) so we bought up a butt load and set them off out at our Aunt and Uncles house in the country. A little disappointing because there wasn't anything that flew up into the air and did like the old bottle rockets, but it was still cool. We made a huge mess out of $90+ dollars worth. The professional fireworks provided to the City of Rochester were very good this year. They put on a shorter show, with cooler stuff. The finale was the best they've had in years.



We've started Part 2 of the NASCAR Family Pool with the draft taking place last weekend. I scored some fairly good people, but still not completely happy. We've added my step-mother into the mix so it took away more of the good people then usual. However, I now have Dale Earnhardt Jr, which I stole from my husband, so that will be exciting to see. Here's hoping that I won't place 4th for the third time.



This weekend is all about rest and relaxation. I haven't slept more then 5 hours a night in 2 weeks because I think I have a problem, and because while at my parents the dog woke me every morning at 5am to go outside. Why he decided not to wake up my step-dad as usual, I don't know. Not that i minded, I just wanted to get some sleep! I plan on taking naps every chance I can this weekend. We're considering turning the phones off too.

NADS hair removal does not work. I tried it and Mike tried it and it pulls out about 2 hairs. nice. I guess something with the name NADS you should question anyway.



Last night I went to Shanda's Mary Kay party (no comment) while Mike hung out with Gabe and Tyler. Afterwards, Tyler and I were playing around and wrestling. As they were watching baseball I said to him, "Who's your favorite baseball player?" He loves Sammy Sosa so I thought he'd say that. Nope. He says in his most conversational three-year old voice, "Ummm, I sink it's my dad." His dad plays softball every week and he loves to go. Isn't that the cutest? Then he told Mike, "I'm going to help you put your sandals on cuz your feet stink!" Last, Gabe asks him to tell us what he did at dinner tonight. "I tooted and then we blamed it on Mommy." :-)



I do not suggest watching Brandy: Special Delivery on MTV. It's very dumb.



Tim Penny, former MN Congressman announced today that he is leaving the DFL party and running on the Independence Party ticket for governor against Roger Moe (DFL) and Tim Pawlenty (R). I already liked Tim Penny, so this really excites me about the race this year.



I'm looking forward to the weekend, and only a three day week next week. Then, vacation from July 4-10. Mike leaves tonight for 'up Nort' for his 10-day vacation. He's got all kinds of plans and I told him to not get drunk and fall down. He responded, "I won't get drunk and fall into the bonfire." I Hope not!

Got into a discussion with a guy at work today on the whole Pop, Soda, Coke, Tonic issue. He didn't believe me that I had heard that in Boston it's tonic, other ares it's Soda. In Minnesota it's Pop. I know that in North Carolina, it's Coke, no matter the brand. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it tonic if it's flavored and fizzy in Boston?


It's DAMN hot here and we have no air at work. Can you say a** of a landlord? Called the guy in the past 2 weeks almost everyday because we've had the motor in the air conditioner break, the toilet in the women's bathroom is missing the bolt that holds the ball down, 2 computers crashed, one entire room lost power (kids blew fuses hooking up sound equipment) and two desks lost power from their outlets. It was hilarious. The landlord 'claims' that we are doing something. All the while this guy smokes like 3 packs a day, including while he is visiting you in our office. Considering we work against the tobacco industry, it's quite the giggle :) At least we're getting the computers fixed!!



Got the Osbourne's Family Album CD today. The guy I mentioned that I am having the debate with bought it for a giveaway at an event. He then realized it had parental advisory stickers on it and we can't have that! Thus, I scored a CD. It has good songs on it including Pat Boone's version of Crazy Train. (The theme song version on MTV).
Also included are: Papa Don't Preach, John Lennon's Imagine, The Car's Drive, Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight, Mama I'm Coming Home, and the original Crazy Train. Complete with great lines from the TV show, the best quote is written in the liner notes: "I love you more then life itself...but you'r f***ing mad..." America's New Family. :)

Mike L.: you deserve a medal of honor for sitting through a ceremony like that. I would have laughed and gotten into trouble. Or, perhaps, it was so bad you couldn't even laugh? That should go into a Cameron Crowe movie, because it's waaaay worse then Joe singing "Greatest Love of All" in Say Anything.



Weekend was a slow hot one, in the 90's. Left work at noon on Friday and had lunch with some co-workers. Nice to blow off some steam. We have a rule in the summer: do not work more then 37.5 hours if you can help it, as that is all we are required to work. Since we work 60 hour weeks or more in the winter, we all try to take advantage of summer months. Got home, took a lovely nap..which I have been unable to do in a long time. Mike and I went out shopping but I got cranky and annoyed. Pricing as usual was f*ed up. Target is usually good on not screwing ya, but at the cash register that night I was ready to tell them they were turning into Kmart. As a result, Mike did not receive the shirt he wanted and I did not get my Osbournes CD. Went on to Kohl's where Mike purchased a cool pair of 'dress sandals' for work. He calls them his Jesus shoes. I was so proud of him-he suggested getting them, not me!



Saturday we went to a different Target but no shirt. Went out to a not so great lunch at Perkins and then went to Wal-Greens. We purchased the semi-famous 'Nads' hair removal solution. Let's just see if it's fricking works like the commercial SAYS it does. Pain-free my ass...none of that waxing stuff works without a little bit of pain in my book. Remember the Friends episode (Ross and Rachel break up) while Monica and Phoebe use "I so want to be a Waxine girl!". Joe eats it when they get stuck in the bedroom because it's supposed to be all natural...



Visited our apartment pool both Saturday and Sunday. Nothing great, but it cools you off. I think the fun in it is watching the people. Sunday we went to Tyler's 3rd Birthday party. Never seen a kid who did not want to open his presents-wanted to play in his pool instead. However, he did get a Slip and Slide, so soon that was the popular item with the kids. Man, that thing has changed since I was kid. Now there is a bumper at the end to prevent you from going flying into the grass. Also chatted with Gabe's dad, who is one of the funniest old farts I've ever known. He's in his early 70's, has no teeth, survived Mercury poisoning from fish, broke his hip and leg, walks with a limp and a cane, gone through 2 wives who died of lung cancer, and has lived to tell about it all. When I came walking he said, "There's the one that tackled Mike for life..." Last year when I saw him he said, "Didn't you pose for PlayBoy?" As you can tell, this is where Gabe gets his sense of humor.



I am happy to report that while visiting both Target's, I did not have any crazy women in mini-vans telling me to move it over. I will concede with my brother: we are turning into cranky older people........:-)

I really don't have much to tell...it's been a boring few days.



I'm applying for a job down in Rochester (MN) for the hell of it. It's in media, which I'm anxious to get back to, and this would give me a really great starting point. A guy I used to work with at my current job called me and let me know. I'd be working with him primarily, which is a plus cause we got along really well. Mike and I are tired of the big city, and looking to move along. Nothing is holding us to the Twin Cities anymore. Our friends that we do things with on a regular basis live in Wisconsin, so what the hell? We'd probably still see them the same amount of time we do now! And, the cost of living is cheaper down there. Fingers crossed.



Had lunch with some of my TM kids yesterday. I realize that secretly I must still be about 16 because I laughed at all the gross things they told about. This kid tells me how he wiped his butt with a dollar bill, laid it on the sidewalk, and said that some lady came by and picked it up. How sick is this? But, I laughed...In response, I asked if he had 'Hitlered' anyone lately. Taking my cue from Cartman on South Park, I told him how Cartman put his finger down his butt and wiped it under his friends nose. Get it? :)


My life is sadly lacking when I find this stuff funny.....

Alright, quite tooling on me about my country music...might I point out that my brother was able to ESCAPE from the country music influence because he was in his teens and at the age where he did NOT have to attend concerts, jam sessions, etc with our parents. I was freaking 7 years old-did not have the choice. I believe, therefore, that is the reason why I picked up country. Before I expressed my opinons in my previous blog, I did say that I knew many of you did not like country...so I think I covered my ass there. Sorry, I still like it. I was the one who got on stage with my Dad's band and sang "You're Cheatin Heart" when I was 8. I received a dollar for my performance. I still have this dollar. I will not get into the discussion of Hank Sr./Hank Jr. End of story/rant. :-)



Try to catch MTV's Making of the Video of Kelly Osbourne's "Papa Don't Preach." You can tell Jack doesn't like the attention she's getting. I guess Jack can now turn around to Ozzy and say, "Dad, I hate Kelly." just as she did about him. Ahh, sibling rivalry. Would anyone agree that Jack is about the ugliest kid out there? Or is it just me?



This Shakespeare thing is so cool. In looking at our lineage, as it goes back to BC, we are also related to Charlemagne (Emperor of the Romans) and someone called Albert the Great as well. On the geneology site that Barry is doing research, one of the lines is traced to Adam and Eve. Technically, we are related to God. Some way, some how. When I told my grandpa this he said, "It's been a long and winding road to us since then hasn't it?" I don't know how the hell you can go back that far, but it's there. My step-dad said to me, "Maybe you'll go to church more now since you know you are related to God." :-) Ha



Off to the Great Northern reaches of Minnesota tomorrow to (the newly coined) MN Mike's parent's home. Hopefully it will be warm and nice out on the Birch Lake for some fishing, sunning and relaxing. There is some serious flooding going on in Roseau, MN the famed hockey town about 10 miles from the Canadian border. The whole city is under water at 23 ft, with 16ft being the flood stage. It's really sad. A co-worker of mine lives there, and her mom told her that even if she tried to come home, she would have to take a boat to their house.



I have to pass along one last thing, because it wouldn't be a blog without a story. I stopped at Target on my way home from work on Tuesday. As I pulled into a parking place and got out of my car and started to walk towards the store, this woman in a mini-van stops and says to me, "You need to MOVE it over." I'm like, WHAT? Turning around, I see that the person who had parked next to me had parked at a screwed up angle and messed up the parking for the rest of the row. I had parked between the lines, but there was a large gap between myself and this car. The next open space next to me was now not big enough to fit her van. Realize, I did not even do this on purpose, but simply pulled in because I was going to be in there for all of 5 minutes. As I turned around, she was driving down the next aisle smoking her damn cigarette. So I yelled, "Do you want me to move over?" It just hit me all the sudden and I got pissed. She waved her hand at me like "whatever". So I yelled back, "Are you SURE? Cuz I can f*cking move it for you!!" She just kept waving her hand at me. So, I left it and went into the store. When I came back out, there was a small station wagon pulled into the space next to me that was supposed to be 'too small'. This person had pulled so akwardly into the space, that there was literally 2 inches between my end of the car and their's. But, I squeezed through and made it out just fine. Do you think she had anything to do with it? And what the HELL is this world coming to when you have to be so freaking lazy to argue over a parking place close to the door? It was there that I realized why we don't carry concealed weapons. My anger was so out of control and shocked by this behavior, that I quite honestly felt like if I had a gun, I probably would have pulled it out. Scary thought. I think I might need anger management classes. Hope this doesn't scare anyone-I am honestly safe to leave your children with!

Congrats to my brother for taking the time to screw off....sounds like a great time.



Mike L.: I grew up on country...during the Outlaw phase in the 1978-1982 range. When you dad plays in country bands your whole life, it's hard not to like it. :)



Short weekend, or so it seemed. Went to Rochester on Friday night, had dinner with my parents (crappy Mexican) and was able to drive them around in my new car. I think they liked it? Saturday, got up and took off for a wedding in Cresco, Iowa. Stopped in Harmony to visit the grandparents along the way. Grandpa told us that on Sunday it was Laura Ingalls Wilder Days in Burr Oak (she lived in the town where my grandparents lived when she was 9) and there was going to be a parade. Get this: Grandpa and Grandma were the Honorary Grand Marshalls of the parade and were going to ride in the pace car at the beginning. Too funny and too cool. I think they were actually looking forward to it. They are the second longest living residents of Burr Oak, well known and well liked, which I'm sure contributed to them being picked.



Left from there for the wedding. Typical small town church wedding, etc. My mother had my cousin and I in stiches because a little girl in front of us kept talking to my mom. She must have been around 3? She says rather loudly at one point, "Do you have a tattoo?" Why she asked this, I do not know. But, when you're in church, bored and trying to be quiet, it was funny. This little girl also spent most of the service turned around staring at my uncle and cousin who are black. It was cute :)



The bride had a cool dress-kind of Tarzan like going over only one shoulder. It was a straight skirt, and because this girl is so tiny, it looked great. Food, pork sandwiches (small town Iowa remember) along with a vegetable salad, fruit, and home made dill pickles. Dance was a blast because they had the same DJ that we had at our wedding. Jeff Duncan is well worth the extra $75 you pay to request him. We boogied it up until about 11pm and took off back to Rochester. Can I just say that people really lose their inhibitions at wedding dances when a few drinks are involved! And watching my 13 year old cousin Tyler do his moves a la Chris Tucker from Rush Hour, made for a good time.

Not to get into the topic of Urinal Mats or anything, but after reading my brother's post, we had some pop up at work as something called a "Concert Creative". What is this you might ask? It seems the kids have chosen items to display the Target Market name at concerts. One of which is a little yellow mat with a picture of a Tobacco Executive on it. Interesting. Apparently there is a difference between a urinal cake and a urinal mat. Having never used a urinal, I know very little about this.



Kudos to my step-dad for finally cracking the Webb family tree past 1800. I think (?) we should be proud to note that we are related to William Shakespeare!?! Still trying to figure out the lineage myself, but it looks like he is probably a uncle of sorts back to about 1564. Looking forward to that search.



I know that for many of you Country music is not your favorite, or something you may even listen to...but I've got to point out two really great songs I've listened to lately. One my Dad played for me by Hank Williams Jr called "Bluesman". If you ever saw the TV movie called Living Proof: The Hank Jr. Story, it's in there. I remembered it well. Good Tune. Second, Tim McGraw's latest album: Set This Circus Down is fantastic. The tune "Cowboy In Me" is one of the best I've heard in a long time. I'm finding that I'm getting sick of Top 40 lately...along with Shakira (Mike, I saw the Shakira Diva thing you were talking about. It sucked big time.) Eminem, Ja Rule, etc. God Help Us. Look at the names I just typed out?????



Along those same lines, when I spent the weekend at my dad's a few weeks back, I brought along my guitar so we could jam a little like the old days. Dad plays harmonica all the time now, but picks up the guitar on occasion. I kept digging out all these old songs he hadn't done in years. It was cool. I had to laugh at this one called "Amanda" by Waylon Jennings. Since the guy recently died, we both were excited to play it again. There is a part that goes..."I got my first guitar when I was 14. Now I'm crowding 40 and I'm still wearing jeans." Dad, of course, re-writes the lines to say, "I got my first guitar when I was 39...Now I'm over 60 and I still got my hair." I guess you had to be there. :) I wish I could be in a band sometimes!



Not much else going on. Boring weekend. Read two FULL books this weekend, something I have NOT done in forever (I read too fast sometimes. I'm probably what you call a skimmer. That's why I can re-read books, because I pick up something everytime.
Lucky Man by Michael J. Fox. Pretty decent, but hard to get into. I also read
Reeve Lindbergh's memoir about her family. I enjoyed learning about her parents and what amazing people they were. She is an extremely talented writer, and I virtually felt like she took me with her to visit all the people and places she wrote about. Also, Went to Episode 2 for the second time. I highly suggest doing this, and then watching the trilogy. As Yoda would say "Learn much, I did."

Scanned some pics last night of the nephew...he's growing already. It's amazing how babies differ. Some gain so fast, others it's just a casual growth. This little guy is starting to get the chubby cheeks at last :)



Pat, didn't know if I had sent you these pictures of Tyler and Riley, so am posting them. Check out the cheeks on Riley :)



Liking the new car. Slowing getting adjusted to driving it and knowing the sounds, etc. There is a rattle in the rear passenger door if the door isn't shut just right. I really want that checked out. Probably will need new tires by winter. I'm concerned about the anti-lock brakes this winter, having never used them before. Learning to drive all over again, as we do each winter in Minnesota.



Staying home this weekend for a change. June is already filling fast. I really wish we had a house so that we could spend time outside doing stuff. Our apartment deck isn't the greatest for hanging out on. We're hitting the '90's today, finally!

Photos of the new car....



My co-worker suggested that I name my car, and said it needed a slutty name because it's red.



So, introducing, LOLA



;-)

Busy week last week....



Bought a car on the 22nd. Let's just say for my first car buying experience, I wasn't impressed. It's scary! Mike, however, did a great job with the price concerns and we got what we wanted for it. 2000 Pontiac Grand Am, 3.4, V-6. 35,000 miles, 4-door, and it's candy apple red. With a CD-Player, I'm so happy. I love my car. Drove it down to Rochester over the weekend. Stayed at my dad's and let him drive it. He REALLY liked it :) It rides like a dream, smooth and quiet. Quite a change from an '87 Buick to a '00 Pontiac.



Haven't taken a picture yet, so here's the identical version of one I found online.



My work situation I wrote about earlier worked itself out quite nicely. By standing my ground and not freaking out, I remained on the upswing with full-support from my boss. A re-write of the document is in order (nicer version) and will be submitted as a memo. I feel good about this.



Got a great Elvis lunchbox at the Mall of America on Friday. My co-worker with the Brady Bunch lunch box was thrilled to have me eat lunch with her and her box today! We're quite the pair toting our lunchboxes. It's great! The coolest thing was that the Norwegian relatives staying with my parents insisted on buying me a gift. Seeing how crazy I went over the Elvis stuff, they thought it would be the most appropriate. How nice is this? Cool people.

Mike: You and my brother must like a lot of the same things: Pat had the same Classic Football Game in about 1980. I believe Mom still have it somewhere :) Cool that it's back!



Sharon, Jack and Kelly Osbourne were on Howard Stern last night. 2 things: Howard asked Sharon about giving Kelly the finger wiping incident on one another. And, when Howard asked what was up with Sharon's new friendship with Rosie O'Donnell. Jack's response: "It's a big lesbian love fest." Kelly got really ticked at him for saying that. It was too funny. Second half is on tonight, 10pm Central on E.



Just got the call on my car. Damages are over $1400 so they will total it. But, guess what they're going to pay me for the car? Over $1900!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Plus, an extra $50 for the loss of clothing and luggage (bag) in the vehicle. This is a damn good thing to have happen. I'm buying a newer vehicle this week!